1.6 Daily Root Practices

 Season One: ROOTS

Article 6: Daily Root Practices

Small steps that keep the heart connected

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

Alhamdulillah.

Healing does not need big changes.

Most women do not have extra time, extra energy, or quiet days.

Life is busy. Hearts are tired.

That is why staying rooted in Allah must be simple and livable.

Roots grow quietly; they grow through small, repeated actions; not sudden effort.

1. Begin the Day with One Turn to Allah

You do not need a long routine.

• One short du'a
• One Alhamdulillah
• One moment of intention

Before touching your phone, gently say:

"Ya Allah, help me today."

This small turn reminds the heart Who it belongs to.

2. Keep One Fixed Act of Worship

Choose one thing you can do daily.

It can be:

• Two rak'ahs
• One page of Qur'an
• A few minutes of dhikr
• Sending salawat upon the Prophet ﷺ

Do not add many things. One consistent act is better than many broken ones.

Consistency gives strength to the heart.

3. Pause When the Heart Feels Heavy

When stress rises, stop for a moment.

• Take a deep breath
• Say: 

حسبي الله لا إله إلا هو عليه توكلت وهو رب العرش العظيم

(HasbiAllahu la ilaha illa Huwa 'alaihi tawakkaltu WA Huwa Rabbul 'Arshil Azeem)

• Or simply say:

 يا رحمان أغثني

(Ya Rahman Aghithni) 

(Ya Rahman, help me) 

You are not weak for pausing. You are protecting your heart.

4. Speak Gently to Yourself

Many women are very kind to others. But very harsh with themselves.

Replace self-blame with gentle truth.

Instead of:

"I'm failing." 

Say:

"I'm learning."

"Allah sees my effort."

A heart cannot stay rooted if it is always attacked.

5. End the Day by Returning to Allah

Before sleeping, return your heart to Him.

You can:

• Thank Allah for one thing
• Ask forgiveness
• Hand over your worries

Say in your heart:

"Ya Allah, I leave this day with You."

This brings peace, even on hard days.

Remember This

You do not need to be perfect to be close to Allah...

You only need to return; again and again...

Roots grow through return...! 

Closing Reflection; Staying Rooted

Alhamdulillah...

You have reached the end of this season, but not the end of your journey...

This season was about Roots.

About where the heart stands when life shakes it.

You learned:

1. What your true roots are
2. What false roots look like
3. How pain affects the heart
4. How to return to Allah with gentleness
5. Healing Attachment 
6. How to stay rooted in daily life

Roots are not seen, yet they hold everything. In the same way, your quiet turns to Allah matter; even when no one sees them.

You may still feel tired.

You may still feel unsure.

But if your heart knows where to return, you are not lost...!

Do not measure your healing by how calm you feel today.

Measure it by this:

When life shakes you, do you know where to turn?

Returning to Allah again and again is not weakness.

It is faith...!

Take what helped you...

Leave what feels heavy...

Come back when you need...

Allah is never far...! 

Du'a; My Lord Root My Heart in You

O Allah, all praise belongs to You...

O Allah, root our hearts firmly in faith...

Do not let us attach ourselves to what cannot hold us...

When we feel tired, give us rest in You...

When we feel lost, guide us back to You...

When our hearts feel weak, strengthen them with Your remembrance...

O Allah, help us trust You when we are afraid...

Help us return to You when we fall...

Help us remember You in busy days and heavy nights...

Make our hearts calm through Your nearness...

Make our steps steady through Your guidance...

Make our lives beautiful through reliance upon You...

O Allah, allow us to rise... 

not away from You...

but closer to You.

Aamiin! 

What Comes Next ? 

② REGULATION

Roots help us stay connected.

But life still brings emotions.

Some days the heart feels calm.

Some days it feels heavy, anxious, or overwhelmed.

In the next season of She Rises, we will talk about Regulation.

Regulation means:

• Understanding your emotions
• Learning how thoughts affect the heart
• Responding with calm instead of reacting in pain

This season will help you:

• Make sense of what you feel
• Handle overthinking and emotional waves
• Find inner calm through Allah's guidance
• Use simple psychological tools without losing faith

Islam does not ask us to ignore emotions.

It teaches us how to handle them with wisdom and balance.

If Roots taught you where to return,

Regulation will teach you how to remain steady.

We are not ending here.

We are moving forward; gently, together.

She Rises; with faith, awareness, and calm.

Alhamdulillah! 

With Duas 

Amina Chahal 

Islamic Life Coach, Life Skills Trainer 

1.5; Healing Attachment

Letting Go Without Breaking, Loving Without Losing Allah

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

Alhamdulillah! 

Attachment is not a flaw in a woman's heart.

It is proof that her heart knows how to love, how to lean, how to connect...!

But when attachment is misplaced, it becomes heavy. What was meant to support the heart begins to strain it.

Islam does not ask us to stop loving. It teaches us where to place love so it does not consume us.

When Love Turns Into Weight

A woman may become attached to:

• A person who makes her feel seen.
• A role that gives her worth.
• A relationship that feels like safety.
• Or a future she cannot imagine losing.

None of these are inherently wrong.

But when the heart begins to rely on them for peace, stability, or identity; attachment quietly turns into dependence.

And dependence exhausts the soul.

The heart was not created to be carried by creation. It was created to be carried by Allah.

Why Letting Go Feels Like Breaking

Letting go often feels painful because we confuse it with loss.

But healing attachment is not about removing love: It is about reordering love.

A heart that loves Allah first does not love people less;  it loves them more safely.

When Allah is at the center:

• Disappointment does not destroy faith.
• Distance does not feel like abandonment.
• And change does not collapse the heart.

Because what is rooted in Allah remains steady, even when people shift.

Loving Without Losing Allah

One of the quiet fears many women carry is this: 

"If I loosen my grip, I will lose everything."

But Islam does not teach detachment from people...

It teaches attachment with boundaries...! 

You may love deeply;  without expecting another human to heal what only Allah can.

You may care sincerely; without making someone the source of your worth.

You may commit wholeheartedly; without placing your emotional safety in something fragile.

This is not coldness.

This is wisdom...! 

When Attachment Pulls You Away from Allah

Sometimes attachment is not recognized by how much we love;  but by what happens to our heart when we feel threatened.

Ask gently:

• Does my peace disappear when this person is distant?
• Do I neglect my relationship with Allah when this bond feels secure?
• Do I feel spiritually empty when this attachment feels unstable?

These are not signs of sin. They are signs of a heart asking to be re-centered.

Healing Attachment with Mercy

Healing attachment does not mean cutting people off abruptly. It means slowly returning the heart to its rightful place.

It looks like: 

• Turning to du'a instead of emotional panic.
• Seeking Allah's comfort before seeking reassurance,.
• Reminding the heart that love is a gift; not a god.

The Prophet ﷺ taught us balance...! 

So we need to love without excess, and to detach without bitterness.

Because hearts that are anchored in Allah, do not shatter when tested.

What Remains When You Let Go

When attachment heals, you do not become empty.

You become lighter...

You still love...

You still care...

But your heart rests where it was always meant to rest...

With Allah...!

And from that place, love becomes an act of worship; not a source of fear.

Gentle Reflection; Healing Attachment

You may write, pause, or simply sit with these questions. Take only what feels safe.

1. What am I most afraid of losing right now; and why does it feel so heavy in my heart?
2. When this attachment feels shaken, where does my heart turn first; to people, or to Allah?
3. Is there a place where my love has quietly become a source of anxiety rather than peace?
4. What would it look like to love this person or role while trusting Allah with the outcome?
5. One small way I can return my heart to Allah this week is: ________

Barakallahu feek ✨ 

With Duas 

Amina Chahal 

Islamic Life Coach, Life Skills Trainer 

1.4 Re-Rooting: Returning to Allah with Gentleness

Season One: ROOTS, Returning to What Holds You

Article 4: Re-Rooting,  Returning to Allah with Gentleness

After seasons of exhaustion and shaking, the heart often assumes it must rebuild itself through force,  more discipline, stricter routines, or heavier self-criticism. But re-rooting does not begin with pressure. It begins with gentleness.

Allah does not ask the tired heart to sprint back. He invites it to return, step by step.

Re-rooting is not about becoming “stronger” overnight. It is about placing the heart back where it was always meant to rest.

What Re-Rooting Really Means

Re-rooting is the process of shifting reliance, slowly and intentionally, back to Allah after the heart has leaned on what could not hold it.

It is not abandoning effort...

It is releasing the burden of carrying outcomes alone.

Re-rooting is not perfection.

It is presence.

When the heart re-roots, it stops asking:

“How do I control this?” 

And begins asking: 

“How do I trust Allah here?”

Tawakkul: Trust That Does Not Neglect Effort

Tawakkul is often misunderstood as passivity. In reality, it is active trust, doing what is within your capacity while entrusting what lies beyond it to Allah.

A heart practicing tawakkul plans, tries, and shows up, then rests its outcome with the One who sees what it cannot.

Tawakkul does not erase fear instantly.

It softens fear by reminding the heart that it is not alone in responsibility.

Trust grows not by forcing certainty, but by repeatedly returning to Allah when uncertainty arises.

Du‘a: Re-Rooting Through Turning Back

Du‘a is not a performance.

It is not a test of spiritual eloquence.

Du‘a is turning, even with tired words, even with silence, even with tears that cannot be named.

Sometimes du‘a sounds like requests.

Sometimes it sounds like honesty.

Sometimes it sounds like, “Ya Allah, I am tired.”

Re-rooting begins when the heart remembers it can speak without pretending to be strong.

The Qur’an as Grounding, Not Pressure

The Qur’an was revealed as guidance, mercy, and healing, not as a weight to carry during exhaustion.

In heavy seasons, grounding in the Qur’an does not require long recitations or perfect focus. Sometimes it begins with a single ayah, repeated slowly, allowing the heart to settle.

The Qur’an grounds the heart by reminding it of truth when emotions feel unreliable.

Returning to the Qur’an is not about quantity...

It is about allowing Allah’s words to steady the heart again.

Spiritual Safety: Returning Without Fear

Many hearts hesitate to return because they fear judgment, from themselves or others. But Allah does not receive the returning heart with harshness.

Re-rooting requires spiritual safety, the understanding that Allah’s mercy is not withdrawn because of weakness, exhaustion, or distance.

Returning does not require explaining the absence.

It requires sincerity.

Allah welcomes the heart that comes back gently, even slowly.

Small Acts That Re-Root the Heart

Re-rooting does not demand transformation overnight. It grows through small, consistent acts:

• Pausing before reacting
• Whispering a simple du‘a
• Reciting a familiar ayah
• Releasing an outcome consciously to Allah

These moments may feel small, but roots grow quietly beneath the surface.

A Gentle Return

Re-rooting is not about becoming someone new.

It is about remembering who you were always meant to rely on.

The heart does not need to be perfect to return.

It only needs to turn.

Returning Gently

Soft reflections

1. Where in my life am I being asked to trust Allah more than control outcomes?
2. What makes returning to Allah feel difficult for me right now, and what gentleness might ease that return?
3. What small practice could help me feel spiritually grounded in this season?

Re-rooting is not a demand.

It is an invitation.

May Allah make return easy, trust light, and the heart steady once again. Aamiin! 

With Duas 

Amina Chahal 

Islamic Life Coach, Life Skills Trainer 

Is a Relationship Halal If the Intention Is Marriage?

 Is a Relationship Halal If the Intention Is Marriage?

An Islamic and Psychological Perspective

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

Is a Relationship Halal If the Intention Is Marriage?

This question is very common today:

“Is it haram to be in a relationship if the intention is marriage?”

At first glance, it may sound reasonable. But Islam does not judge actions by labels alone, it judges them by reality, boundaries, and outcomes.

Let’s understand this clearly.

1. Intention Alone Does Not Make a Haram Thing Halal

If we call wine "halal" , does it become halal?

No.

In the same way, calling a relationship 'for marriage' does not automatically make it permissible.

In Islam, good intention does not justify a wrong action.

The Prophet ﷺ taught us that intention matters, but intention must walk within halal boundaries.

2. What Does Islam Mean by "Relationship"?

If by relationship we mean what society has normalized today:

• Boyfriend / girlfriend
• Emotional attachment
• Private chats
• Late-night talks
• Emotional dependency
• Physical or emotional intimacy

Then there is no confusion:

➡️ This is haram, even if the intention is marriage.

Allah does not say:

“Do not commit zina.”

Allah says:

“Do not even go near zina.”

(Al-Qur’an 17:32)

Islam blocks the path before the sin happens.

3. Emotional Boundaries Matter Too

Many people say, "There is nothing wrong, we don’t touch, we only talk."

But Islam teaches us to be mindful not only of actions, but also of what happens within the heart.

Private conversations, emotional closeness, and exclusive attachment can slowly create a bond that was never meant to exist outside marriage. Over time, this can affect one’s inner peace, weaken spiritual focus, and make the heart overly dependent on someone other than Allah.

The Prophet ﷺ reminded us that sins do not begin only with physical acts. He said that the eyes have their share, the ears have their share, the hands have their share, and the heart desires and inclines (meaning: every sense has a role, even before any physical act occurs).

This is not said to judge anyone, but to help us understand human nature. What starts as "just talking" often grows into emotional attachment, and emotions are powerful, they shape choices, priorities, and spiritual direction.

Private bonding, exclusive attachment, emotional reliance, all of these:

• Weaken imaan
• Disturb the heart
• Slowly pull a person away from Allah

Islam invites us to protect the heart, because the heart was created to find its deepest attachment, peace, and security in Allah first. When emotional space meant for a halal bond, is filled prematurely, it often leads to confusion, inner conflict, and pain rather than peace.

Islam’s boundaries are not restrictions without wisdom, they are safeguards for emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

4. Psychological Reality of Such Relationships

From a psychological perspective as well, emotional attachment without commitment creates anxiety, insecurity, and constant fear of loss.  These "intentional relationships" often cause:

• Emotional addiction
• Anxiety and overthinking
• Fear of loss
• Insecurity
• Mood swings
• Sleep issues
• Academic or work disturbance

Especially for women, such relationships often lead to:

• Emotional burnout
• Delayed healing
• Difficulty trusting again

If something is mentally damaging, how can it be khair?

Islam never permits something that destroys the soul.

5. "But We Are Waiting for Marriage…"

Now let’s clarify an important distinction.

If by relationship you mean:

• Someone is proposed or considered for marriage
• Families are aware or involved
• There is no private chatting, no emotional bonding
• No meetings, no dependency
• You are making dua and waiting patiently

Then this is not a relationship, this is a process.

This can be permissible only if:

• It does not distract you from Allah
• It does not consume your thoughts
• It does not damage your mental or physical health
• It does not delay your growth, ibadah, or purpose

6. When “Waiting” Becomes Harmful

Sometimes people say:

"We are just waiting for the right time."

But years pass. Hearts get attached. Mental health declines. Life becomes stuck.

Ask yourself honestly:

• Is this making me closer to Allah?
• Is this improving my life?
• Is this helping my akhirah?

If it is destroying your peace, then where is the khair?

Islam does not command us to stay stuck in emotional pain. Rather the emotional health is as important as the physical health. This is why we are guided to do tazkiyah of our nafs. 

7. Keeping the Right Balance

Islam encourages marriage,  it helps complete our Deen and protects us.

At the same time, our main purpose in life is to worship Allah and prepare for the Hereafter.

Marriage is meant to strengthen our imaan, not weaken it. So while trying to get married, we should choose a path that:

• Protects our faith
• Keeps our hearts peaceful

• And brings us closer to Allah

Anything that causes loss of imaan, constant anxiety, or disobedience needs to be rethought, even if the intention is marriage.

A halal beginning brings barakah to a halal ending.

8. A Better and Healthier Islamic Way

When someone is genuinely serious about marriage, Islam offers a clearer and safer path:

• Involve families early, as much as possible
• Keep communication minimal, purposeful, and respectful
• Avoid unnecessary emotional attachment before nikah
• As much as possible, avoid private interaction; if communication is needed, let it be in the presence of mahrams 
• Make istikhara and sincere du‘a
• Trust Allah’s timing and wisdom

What is written for you will never miss you, and what is not written, no amount of attachment can force it.

A path taken with boundaries may feel slower, but it protects the heart, the imaan, and the future marriage itself.

A Gentle Reminder...

If something in your life is slowly pulling your heart away from Allah, disturbing your inner peace, or making your imaan feel heavier instead of lighter... 

Then it may be worth pausing and reflecting on it with honesty and compassion.

Sometimes our intentions are sincere, but the path we choose still needs realignment.

Allah does not ask us to give up anything without reason.

When something is left for His sake, He replaces it with what is better for the heart, more peaceful for the soul, and more blessed, either in this life or in the Hereafter.

Stepping away is not a failure.

It is a return.

A return to clarity, dignity, and trust in Allah’s plan.

And remember: What is written for you will never miss you. And what misses you was never meant to stay.

May Allah guide our hearts gently, heal what feels attached, and replace every difficult choice with His mercy and reward. Aamiin! 

With Duas 

Amina Chahal 

Islamic Life Coach, Life Skills Trainer